Monday, December 28, 2020

#REDChallenge | Read Every Day | Through The Word In 365 Days

Have you ever desired to complete the Bible in one year only to get stuck in Genesis? Well, join the queue, you're not alone!


The #REDChallenge promises to make going through the Bible in 2021 easy with these 4 simple steps.


1. Pick a set time daily (preferably before 8:00am).


2. Go to


3. Read the passages you see OUT LOUD TO YOUR OWN HEARING (or use an audio Bible). You should be done in about 24mins more or less!


4. Comment "Transformed" in the comment section.


That's it!

So, are you game? Start here!

Thursday, December 10, 2020


Father, we thank you for the gift of parents and elders in our families. Thank you for their lives, what they represent and the roles they play in our lives.

LORD we praise you for the many benefits we can enjoy as your children in accordance with your word.

We desire good health and vitality for our senior citizens;  thank you for satisfying our desires with good things. 

Thank you for renewing the youth of our senior citizens like that of the eagle’s (Psalms 103:2&5).

In Jesus name we infuse extraordinary youthful energy and vitality into all our senior citizens.

They will remain a blessing to us and others all the days of their long, flourishing and strong lives.

May they wake up everyday, declaring with joy, "This is the day the LORD has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!" May the joy of the Lord strengthen every cell in their bodies and rejuvenate them on daily basis.

We declare their minds are renewed and enabled to reject the unscriptural believe in "inevitable old age associated diseases".

We declare the older they get, the healthier they become with strong, active minds and good mental alertness. Their strength will equal their days.

We declare good health after the order of Moses who had good eyesight and went mountain climbing at the age of 120.

For those having current health challenges, we ask for wisdom and the proper strategies to handle their conditions.

Let every shroud or veil that enfolds or covers the proper diagnoses of any health challenge be destroyed in Jesus name (Isaiah 25:7).

We declare  “good eyes" and a body of knowledge full of light and insight for all medical personnel handling their cases (Matthew 6:22).

Through divine encounters, we declare God brings our senior citizens in contact with health personnel with relevant professional experience.

We declare good health for all our senior citizens because healing is the children's bread.

We declare God's blessing will be on your food and water (with no poisoning or allergic reactions to food and drinks). We declare you will enjoy the full life span God has promised in His word (Exodus 23:25-26).

Surely he took up your infirmities and carried your sorrows, … He was pierced for your transgressions, He was crushed for your iniquities; the punishment that brought you peace was upon Him, and by His wounds YOU WERE HEALED (Isaiah 53:4-5).  

The sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings for all our senior citizens. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. You will trample down the wickedness of sickness and disease; they will be ashes under the soles of your feet says the Lord Almighty (Malachi 4:2-3). 

A pillar of fire is resting on you, burning in and around you (Exodus 13:21); a consuming and devouring fire that destroys every sickness and disease envelopes you.

The blood washes away every habit, tendencies, mindset and beliefs in you that are triggers for sicknesses and diseases.

The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work (1 John 3:8b). Every work of the devil in and around you is destroyed in Jesus name. You are God's temple and God's Spirit lives in you.

Just as the rod of Moses completely swallowed the rod of the Egyptian magicians, so your immune system swallows up every disease agent or its triggers residing in your body in Jesus name (Exodus 7:12). All the Egyptians that pursued and followed the Israelites into the red sea were destroyed, therefore we declare that every disease passed down through genes are swallowed up in victory (Exodus 14:28). 

You will flourish like palm trees planted in the house of the Lord. You will keep flourishing in the courts of our God. You will still bear fruit in old age, you will stay fresh and green (Psalm 92:12-14). 

We make our declarations in the name of Jesus. Amen and amen.


Wednesday, December 9, 2020


Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits:

Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1-5).

Most high God, I declare these communion emblems sanctified in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I declare that they represent the Body and the Blood of my Lord Jesus Christ. Your body was broken so that mine will not be broken and your blood was shed, so that my blood will not be shed.

Everlasting Father, I decree that every benefit of the table of Covenant will be my experience in the mighty name of Jesus. I pray that the benefits of divine health and divine healing be made manifest in my experience In Jesus Name.

The Bible confirms that there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. I pray that there be a suspension of every operation of the law of sin and death in my life. I declare that I only partake of the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus.

Father, I thank you for the blood of Jesus Christ which was poured out for me. Jesus, you said whoever eats your flesh and drinks your blood has eternal life, remains in you and you in him and you will raise him up at the last day, for your flesh is real food and your blood real drink (John 6:54-56).

I have taken a decision to worship the Lord my God, and as such, His blessing will be on my food and water (with no poisoning or allergic reactions to food and drinks) and He will give me a full life span. God takes away sickness from among from my body (Exodus 23:25-26). Surely he took up my infirmities and carried my sorrows, … He was pierced for my transgressions, He was crushed for my iniquities; the punishment that brought me peace was upon Him, and by His wounds I WAS HEALED (Isaiah 53:4-5). 

Because I revere the name of the Lord, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings for me. And I will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. I will trample down the wickedness of sickness and disease; they will be ashes under the soles of my feet says the Lord Almighty (Malachi 4:2-3). 

With faith in God’s word and the healing power of the body and blood of my Lord Jesus Christ, I partake of your body……..EAT…….and your blood…..DRINK……..

Be a pillar of fire resting on me, burning in and around me (Exodus 13:21); be a consuming and devouring fire that destroys every sickness and disease. Let your blood wash away every habit, tendencies, mindset and beliefs in me that are triggers for sicknesses and diseases. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work (1 John 3:8b).

Every work of the devil in and around me is destroyed in Jesus name. I am God's temple and God's Spirit lives in me. By this communion, the Lord is washing away every spiritual filth; He is cleansing all stains from my foundation by a spirit of judgment and a spirit of fire (Isaiah 4:4). Just as the rod of Moses completely swallowed the rod of the Egyptian magicians, so the body and blood of my Lord Jesus that I have taken, swallows up every disease agent or its trigger residing in my body in Jesus name (Exodus 7:12). All the Egyptians that pursued and followed the Israelites into the red sea were destroyed, therefore I decree that by this communion every disease passed down through genes are swallowed up in victory (Exodus 14:28). 

By this communion, my body is consecrated to God alone and imparted with strength and vitality. My strength will equal my days (Deuteronomy 33:25). I am the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21) therefore I will flourish like a palm tree, I will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord,

I will keep flourishing in the courts of my God. I will still bear fruit in old age, I will stay fresh and green (Psalm 92:12-14). 

I seal my declarations with the blood of Jesus. 

Amen and amen.


Monday, November 16, 2020


I once heard someone say, “if you’ve had to pay for everything you own, you may not be walking in favor yet”.

This video by Terri Savelle Foy – WeBought A Junk Yard! | How We Got Land So Cheap! sheds such brilliant light on a critical step to walking in the favor of God. Please watch and do subscribe to her channel too!

By the way, have you seen the video of the session with Dr. Jo Kunnuji on our channel? Please check it out and do subscribe to get notifications of new videos. Also, kindly share to someone you believe will benefit from the session. You can jump to a question in the video you are curious about too.

As the new year approaches, may the FAVOR of God do for you, what NO MAN can take credit for.

May I also suggest this confession: I AM FAVOURED | FATOGUN ADERONKE MARTINA



Monday, November 9, 2020


Dear One,

It is certain that this year has been amazing for us all. Right? 

I'm not sure if that was you but I could almost hear someone laughing and saying "has he been living on Mars?"

Well, last week, two thoughts came to mind and they kept recurring.

1.    Mercy!

“The reason I can still find hope is that I keep this one thing in mind: the Lord’s mercy. We were not completely wiped out. His compassion is never limited. It is new every morning. His faithfulness is great. - Lamentations 3:21-23 GW

It has been said “we may have lost something but God is the reason we didn’t lose everything”.

When God's Grace opens some doors of opportunity we don't see; God's Mercy keeps these doors opened until we notice and walk through them.

Please click here for the complete Instagram post & kindly follow!

The song I Received Mercy[Mo Ri Aanu Gba] By Femi Okunuga says it well.


2.   Gratitude

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV

Wouldn’t it be great to simply thank God on purpose for the remaining days of this year? I have had great testimonies from just practicing gratitude for an extended period. I invite you to try this if you haven’t before.

Terri Savelle Foy explains further in this video: I journaled my gratitude for 30 days | The Gratitude Experiment

May the 52 remaining days of 2020 bring about pleasant surprises that will make the 52 weeks of this year worth it.

God bless you!




I'm looking forward to reading from you!

Kindly add your name when posting as anonymous! 

Thank you!

Wednesday, October 14, 2020



This is a time when you need to manage yourself properly in order to ensure that you do not lose the pressure seat that you are carrying.

Don't begin to administer drugs at home, avoid self medication because it could be dangerous to the life of the foetus and the mother.

Continually say to yourself, "it shall be well with my body."

Keep making your confessions by faith, declare that the blessings of God makes rich and He adds no sorrow to it, this godly seed in my womb will grow in the status of the Lord and nothing shall corrupt it.

God, who put that baby in your womb, is able to sustain the life till the day of delivery. Refuse unnecessary fears, rather than fill your heart with superstitious beliefs and all manner of junk, believe and speak the word. Never accept the lies of the devil. Whatever the Lord doeth it shall be forever. So, take your rest and God that never sleeps or slumber will continue from there. (Ecclesiastes 11:5)

Another thing responsible for fear among expectant mothers is bad dreams or nightmares. Many magnify their dreams more than necessary, so they become so fearful till their pregnancy is threatened. Please stop emphasizing the devil. Your dream is not more authentic than the word of God.

What you believe is what you become. Who you speak of is the person that appears around you. Why do you narrate your bad dreams as if they are Bible verses? Stop magnifying the enemy; he is not powerful at all. He has been rendered powerless by Jesus (Colossians 2:15). Say good things to yourself and the foetus in your womb, prophesy health and vitality over your body. (Ephesians 5:19)

He who created you said "Be Fruitful." This word is as powerful as "I am the Lord that healeth thee."

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Conclusion)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye

Tuesday, October 13, 2020



When two individuals cleave, they become one and since you cannot separate a man from himself, a married couple should not be separated.

Divorce and separation in marriages, is destructive.

The causes of broken marriages

Shaky Foundation

One of the major causes of broken homes is shaky or broken foundation and the Bible makes us understand that if the foundation is destroyed there is nothing the righteous can do. (Psalm 11:3)

Whatever you build on a foundation that is not solid cannot last; it is bound to collapse. Every marriage must have a solid foundation that stands true. And that foundation is God. 

God is the surest foundation for any marriage.

When you stay united in purpose with God, your marriage cannot be broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)


Strife exalts self, leaving God and others completely out of the picture. Strife is rooted in lack of understanding. Couples should take time to know each other well so that they don't misunderstand any steps taken by their spouse. Should misunderstanding arise, open up the line of communication and get it sorted out immediately.


I believe this is a spirit. Some people keep suspecting any move taken by their spouse because there is no trust. This spirit should be cast out of any home where it is found. The easiest way to kill suspicion is to believe all things. The Bible says, love believeth all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7).

When you notice that suspicion is taking over, or any other crack in your relationship, deal with it quickly before it is too late.

Emotional response to issues

The way to avoid this is to become mature in understanding by giving a second and third thought to every issue before responding. (Proverbs 25:28)

Control yourself! Control your emotions. Do not allow yourself to be provoked to anger. Anger lies in bosom of fools. Control your tongue! Words spoken in anger cause untold damages in homes. (Proverbs 15:18)

The In-Law Factor

Your home should not be governed according to the dictates of your in-laws. Your goal must be to please God. When God is pleased every other person will be pleased.

The interference of in-laws can be cheaply handled with wisdom, especially when there is a good relationship between husband and wife.


Neglect gives room to the devil and the Bible wants us against that. Your personal relationship with one another is very important. Remember that your spouse is a gift from God, and he adds no sorrow to his gifts.

Do not neglect each other. Neglect is a deadly spirit that slowly paralyzes the initiative of your spouse towards your well-being. (1 Timothy 4:14)

The cares of this world

The pursuit of the pleasurable things of this world, The unquenchable thirst for riches, power, and position bring untold sorrows to homes. (Mark 4:19)

It's might be good for food, it might be good to put on your body, it might be pleasant to the eyes, and it might enhance your position, but is it good for your destiny? (Genesis 3:6)

The cares of this world lead to destruction, while, giving attention to the Word exalts.

Steps To Rebuilding A Broken Marriage

Step 1 - Decision

The reason some couples who are separated or divorced remain in that condition for so long is because their hearts are hardened, against one another and against the Word of God. (Psalm 95:7-9)

Remember that every occasion for a new beginning is an opportunity for success.

Step 2 - Bury the past

Let's the past pass.

Mike Murdock said "Don't let mistakes become a memorials. They should be cremated not embalmed."

Step 3 - Disregard intimidation

Be deaf to mockers! Cry unto your God and He will hear you. (Nehemiah 4:1-3)

Step 4 - Obedience

Being good is like building your house on a solid foundation, it will stand firm even in the midst of the storms. Anytime you disobey, your foundation is shaking. Stop sacrificing! Start obeying! Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Wine represents celebration if you want the wine in your marriage to be restored, obey the Word of God. (John 2:5)

Step 5 - Appreciate and embrace each other for a new beginning

Begin to appreciate your spouse all over again.

When two people embrace, there is no gap between them and so nothing can come in to separate them. An embrace bridges the gap between two people and brings them close to one another.

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 8)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye

Monday, October 12, 2020



What is management?

Management can be defined as skillful handling of anything put in your care.

God's purpose is to make your home a showpiece for all to see.

Good management of resources qualifies you for more of God's blessings. To manage your resources properly, you need wisdom. (Proverbs 24:3).

When you operate in the wisdom of God, no matter how little the resources in your hand, it will always be more than enough.

Wisdom demands that you always set your priorities right. It is lack of discipline and integrity to spend beyond your means.

Even though they are general management rules that we can follow, you require the wisdom of God to devise unique ways of managing your home, because the priorities in other homes may not be the same in your home. This is why you need creativity to be able to meet every need of your home without running helter-skelter.

You need stock-taking; take stock of what comes into your home from time to time and keep record of your expenses.

In any home, the woman is seen as the manager. The husband provides for the home but it is the duty of the wife to manage whatever is available per time to ensure that it is judiciously used. A typical example of a good home manager is the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10 - 31. Every woman who strictly follows the example of the virtuous woman will have every cause to smile.

You might not have everything but the little you have, with a good sense of management, it becomes adequate. Your home must be well planned. Take cognizance of the little things that you may think don't matter. (Proverbs 31:13 AMP)

She prepares not just any kind of food but the well balanced diet that will bring nourishment to the bodies of her household. (Proverbs 31:14 AMP)

The first part of Proverbs 31:15 AMP talks about praying and giving thanks for your family; talking to God on behalf of everyone in your family. The second part talks about assigning the various duties in the home to your children and any other persons living with you including house helps - who does what and when to do it. This makes the work in the house lighter and quicker to get accomplished.

Let your financial impact be felt by your household. Some women wait for their husband to provide the money for even salt. But when she is a contributor, the husband looks around the house feeling proud of his wife. This enhances closeness in the relationship. (Proverbs 31:16 AMP)

There are some things you can make at home instead of buying them. This saves you money to put into other use. (Proverbs 31:22)

You need time management!

The greatest duty in life is the control of time.

Don't spend your time anyhow; otherwise before you know it, the day is gone. Time cannot be stock-piled like raw materials; it is either invested or wasted. If your time is not properly allocated to something specific, it becomes lost.

Hear this, relationship is built over time.

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 7)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye

Sunday, October 11, 2020



What is planning?

Planning can simply be defined as putting issues in the right future perspective. This initiates decision and results into action. (Luke 14:28)

Living without a plan is like traveling through a desert without a compass or a map. Planning for every aspect of life is important in the family. Show me a planner and I will show you a man with a bright future. (Proverbs 13:16)

What do you plan for?

Planning helps you define your purpose and activities. It helps you to set standards of performance so that results can be compared with the set standards for appraisal.

Everything about the home must be planned for. Plan for the number of children you want to have and for their future, plan your spiritual and social life. When you plan ahead you deliver yourself from the anxiety of looking for things at the last minute. It is true that you believe God, but as you believe, make sure you have a plan.

My husband often says that any man who waits till the day his wife is to deliver before he begins to run around for the hospital bill is not a planner.

Be creative and prayerful and God will help you to develop a plan that suits your home and resources per time.

If you manage and plan your present level well, God will take you speedily to the next phase.

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 6)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye

Saturday, October 10, 2020



What you are not committed to remains on the same spot, and as a result of improper care, it rots.

When you are wholeheartedly committed to your family as if that is all you are living for, you become a role model for others.

The major way that a couple expresses their commitment to one another is by obeying the scripture in Ephesians 5:22-28

"Husbands love your wives..."

Love is one of the basic ingredients of marriage.

Love is the nature of God. Love is the reason for living. Your measure of Love determines your worth.

Love has medicinal value which has no side effects, no overdose or expiry date.

You "owe" everyone love, especially your spouse. (Romans 13:8). Love is a command and it demands your personal involvement.

Instruct her! Teach her!

As the head of the family, you are expected to instruct your wife in the way of the Lord. That means teaching your wife the things of God, encouraging her to read books, listen to tapes, watch Christian videos, attend fellowships, study the Word of God. By so doing, revelations come from God which will help her in no small way to build and manage the home.

It is your responsibility to ensure that your wife is constantly updating herself spiritually. (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Get educative motivational materials for her. Mind her choice of friends, knowing full well that friends are made they are not born. Any friend that is not contributing to her life positively should be dropped. Be very keen to know the level of her zeal for the things of God. Encourage her to have a good dream/vision and help her to carefully locate her area of interest (gifting/talents). Make her visit resource center where she can be able to develop her unique qualities.

Inspire her! Adam fell because he failed to inspire his wife with spiritual interests. Teach your wife the fear of God. 

Nourish and cherish your wife!

Your wife is delicate and tender; hence she must be treated with care. (Ephesians 5:28-29)

Give her the best!

To express love to your wife, you must give her the very best that you can afford per time, just as God gave His best to the world. (John 3:16).

You and your wife are one, whatever you give to her or do for her, you are doing for yourself.

Provide for your family!

Adequately provide for your household (spiritually, physically and otherwise).

When people see that your family is adequately taken care of, you become a role model because others will aspire to be like you.

Make adequate provision as the man, for your family and this is done in levels - physically, academically, spiritually and emotionally. Do it according to the measure of God's blessing upon you.


You must attach a great importance to modesty and good dressing. Knowing fully well that dressing is not just merely to cover nakedness but for Glory and beauty. Your dressing adds value to your personality, self-confidence and self worth.


The emotions can destabilize the whole body if care is not taken.


See how your spouse can improve academically, do not be selfish at it. This could be formal or informal. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. Encourage them to be studious and an observer.


You most cultivate the habit of spiritual development. Be up to date. Ensure everyone has a complete Bible. You cannot know God or the things of God enough.

Avoid putting away!

The issue of divorce must not cross your mind at all for any reason. God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:16 AMP, 1 Corinthians 7:11b AMP)

When the covenant of marriage is broken, the children are also affected. (Malachi 2:3)

As the husband, you are the head of the family, if anything goes wrong, you will be held responsible. Be a good example to your family, be a practitioner of the word of God and not what you deem fit.

As a married woman, submission to your husband is what makes you fit in the Lord. Submission is not bondage, rather it's an attitude! Submission is the mother of character. You submit to your husband because he is a representative of Jesus in your home. Whether you think your husband is doing the right thing or not, submit to him as unto the Lord.

Your children are also watching, if you show lack of respect for your husband, they will follow suit.

You must develop an attitude of absolute submission to your husband, as the head of the home. This is the principal tool you need to maintain your marriage.

Keep yourself

Your appearance counts a lot before men and before God. Otherwise, God would not have said in Isaiah 6:5 that you should have a well-set hair and appear beautiful. Being smart enables you to get along with your husband on day-to-day affairs. Keep yourself in shape all the time.

Your physical body needs much attention. Do you know that the way you looked during courtship can still be maintained after many years of marriage?

When you don't keep your physical body, your spirit man is affected (1 Corinthians 6:15-20). As much as you take care of your spirit man, you must also care for your body because it is the temple of the Lord.

Keeping yourself does not mean you have to wear the most expensive things or try to look like anybody, if you know how to package and present yourself properly, as far as your husband is concerned, you are 'Miss World'. No matter your size, height or complexion, you can always look your best per time and make your husband feel good whenever you appear together in public or when he has to introduce you to people.

Be Contented!

A submissive woman is a content woman. Contentment is an attitude that is very pleasant to God. Murmuring and complaining have never produced any desired results for people.

As a married woman, never put your husband under pressure to provide what you know he cannot afford. Be content with the supplies per time, knowing that life is in phases and men are in sizes.

You must not allow your emotions to override you.

Set the home in order!

Some homes are so un-kept and disorderly, but unfortunately, most people who have such homes don't realize that the unclean environment contributes to the problems they are having in their homes. As a woman, your duty involves keeping your home in order. (1 Corinthians 14:40)

There is no way you can prove your godliness if you are a dirty person.

You can choose a most convenient way of making your home look presentable either in your presence or absence. You could place labels where things needed can be easily located without your house being disorganized.

Nursing mothers especially, need to put in extra effort to ensure that the house is not soiled or littered with dirty nappies, bottles, plates and other household utensils. Children's toys must not be found scattered all around the place.

Be Supportive!

In as much as your husband is to make provision for the family, as the wife you can help to share the financial burden.

You must be ready to share all things in common, join hands with your husband to build up the family resources, assets and provision for necessary upkeep of the family. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

Avoid Separation!

There is no reason strong enough for couples to live apart, not even their jobs. Are you married to your job or to your spouse?

Jesus Himself warned that "What God has put together, let no man put asunder". This means that man and whatever situation he creates should not constitute a stumbling block in your marriage relationship. Stop making the statement "I have had enough of you", "I want a break" or you keep saying "give me a break; is it by force!" The enemy the devil wants to take advantage of you to finish your marriage. Please be very sensitive of your actions.

Marriage is a responsibility; it places a high demand on your life, so you can't afford to do just anything. You must accept responsibility to keep your home together because to whom much is given, much is required. The storms of life will blow around your family, but make up your mind as never before to stand your ground against the wiles of the devil. Stay committed to your spouse and to the marriage covenant.

When you are rooted in God, nothing can uproot you. The storms of life are not friendly but our anchor is the Word of God. Hold unto it without wavering (Mark 11:23).

Be conscious of God's presence with you in your relationship and remember that a threefold cord is not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 5)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye

Friday, October 9, 2020



Communication is an act of listening, watching and sharing. It is the free exchange of thoughts, ideas and opinions shared between both or more people who are willing to (be) open to each other.

Communication is the music of marriage. When a relationship is void of communication, it becomes dead.

Keep the line of communication open in your home; don't let your spouse keep doing the talking.

The most important thing in any relationship is communication. Without communication you cannot build a long-lasting family life.

Spouses must strive to bridge the communication gap by talking about everything that concerns the family. When one speaks and the order does not understand, ask questions. Relate with each other freely. Do not hide anything from each other. Ensure that your spouse understands what you mean per time. By so doing, there will be no room for satan to penetrate into your home, because you have not made any loophole available.

Shouting and screaming is no communication (naturally, when you are talking you don't scream or shout).

Four instruments of communication:

The Mouth:

Words are the commonest way to communicate love. Never assume that your spouse knows what you want to say. Learn to speak kind words not destructive or idle words.

Say good things about your marriage; say good also of your spouse.

When you keep your mouth, you keep your marriage.

Even concerning material resources in the home, you must be careful what you say. In the language of the kingdom, nothing ever finishes. The Bible says, "you shall have whatsoever you say". I have observed that in some homes, when some things are not in stock in the house, they keep saying "it is finished". I have never said food or any other thing is finished in our home. Even when it is not visible, I say 'we have plenty' because the Bible says "you shall have whatsoever you say". So everyone in the house understands the language "we have plenty" there by calling the things that be not as though they were (Romans 4:17). That way, God keeps replenishing the stock.

The Body:

Sex should be used but in its proper place and time according to God's plan. Within that plan, the sexual instinct is a good thing, a powerful source of life and unity between two beings. Outside of God's plan, it quickly becomes a means of division, a source of cruelty, perversion and death.
Walter Trobisch

Sexual intercourse is an act which affects the whole personality.

No matter the offense your spouse commits against you, never use sex as a tool of punishment.

You must understand that satisfying your spouse's sexual needs is one of your marital duties. As much as lies within your power, you must always make yourself available for him or her. Don't allow your sex life as a couple to be one-sided, be participative, your spouse must not always be the one to make a request for sex or initiate it, you too can make a request whether you are the husband or the wife. It is a way of expressing your need for your spouse, to let him or her know that he or she is loved, appreciated and desired.

Sexual intercourse is not 'dirty' as some people think, it is scriptural. As long as you are legally married, it is right and is a very good way to promote intimacy. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Let your spouse enjoy you. Don't be too high-minded.

Just as there must be no deprivation of sex in marriage, there must also be no over-demand for sex.

Couples must be sensitive to the physical and emotional state of each other per time so as to be able to exercise control when they are required to abstain for a brief period of time. Sex should also not be used as a means of 'bribery' in marriage.

There is no substitute for sex in marriage. That is why most people believe that once a marriage breaks down in the bedroom, the couple may eventually pack it up if nothing is done to restore their sex life.

Ensure that your sex life is lively, interesting and exciting, not a boring time that you just endure but the time that both of you participate fully to ensure that each party is satisfied and fulfilled.

Don't think that God is too 'holy' to be interested in your sex life, He is interested in it. So you can pray to him about it; ask for help or wisdom to make this aspect of your marriage what it ought to be.

The Eyes

Develop the eye of an eagle; always looking ahead to greater heights. What you see influences your action.

Those who have telescopic eyes see far ahead, they ignore unnecessary details so that they can pursue higher goals. Sometimes, looks communicate a lot more than words. Spouses must learn to use eye contact beyond what people can hear. Train your children with eye contact; it helps save you from a lot of embarrassment.

Money/Material Things:

You don't have to wait to see the pocket of your spouse go empty before you communicate your money or materials to him or her.

Don't give because you are expecting something in return, No! Don't let money or material things rule your home.

A wise man said, "Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust". The way people use money when it is in their hands reveals much about their character.

Money is good when you put it where it belongs.

Teach your family members how to be financially committed in the Kingdom. (Malachi 3:8-10)


Create excitement: show me an excited man and I will show you a man with a future. Excited men don't give excuses. Their environment makes for a happy living. Create humor in your home to release the pressure and diffuse tension. Make your home a place of pleasure. Remember that a merry heart doeth good like medicine but a broken spirit dries the bones (Proverbs 17:22). Always have a cheerful countenance, don't look unapproachable but be full of enthusiasm.

Avoid repetition of matters: No one repeats matters without being full of bitterness.

Avoid bitterness: Each time you find yourself embittered, the after effect is being locked out of God's presence.

Be an example of good works. Stop finding faults in your spouse, instead start mending each other's faults.

Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 4)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye